Refining in Ukraine

Like every other place, Ukraine has been an incredible experience. This month my team and I were hosted by Heritage Ukraine, a non-profit in Odessa, Ukraine, that serves orphans, works with special needs kids and low income families, and hosts amazing camps in the summer. During our stay, we got to:

• Clean up their outdoor space by raking leaves, filling in holes, and digging up trees
• Shop for, organize, and deliver food bags to some of the neediest families in Odessa
• Serve alongside Joy Center, their special needs program
• Decorate for Christmas
• Visit an orphanage and put on a show (I got to be a clown!)

I loved getting to serve in a variety of ways, but my favorite was serving special needs kids at the Joy Center. I enjoyed noticing the weird things that made them smile and how they all tried in their own unique way to grow in each session.

One day in Particular at the Joy Center…

God used a little girl named Christina to love me in the most powerful, sweetest way. On this day, we were serving with a group of kids we hadn’t met yet, and we were going to help take them to a game center. The day started out with warm up exercises at Joy Center while we waited for all the kids to arrive.

When my girl arrived, the staff led her to me, and one of the first things she noticed were my tattoos on my left arm. She pulled up my sleeve and started kissing my heart tattoo that has a crown of thorns around it.

What was powerful about this kiss is that this tattoo represents my grief journey with my Mom and having to learn to trust Jesus with every heartbeat when the grief is overwhelming. My Mom’s name was Christina, so having a little girl named Christina kiss this tattoo was like receiving a kiss from my Mom. Inside, I was weeping at this lovely, lovely gift from Jesus.

Then she noticed some scars that I have, and she kissed those too. It just literally felt like Jesus kissing all my wounds and letting me know He has been with me through it all and He’s healing it all, cuz that’s what’s supposed to happen when you kiss someone’s wound, right?

I left that day in awe and so humbled at who Jesus could use to love me.

It’s Been a Refining Season

God worked in me a lot during my time in Ukraine–probably the most since I’ve been on the Race. Since I started the Race, my single prayer request to God has been, “I just want more of you.” In Romania, Albania, and Kosovo, He answered that in really sweet ways. In Ukraine, He decided it was time to refine and prune some things to make room for more of Him in my heart. Here are some of the things He dealt with:

• Lies I was believing about Him and myself
• Pride
• My inability and His capability

It sucked and was not fun to go through, but it was totally worth it. In the midst of all of God’s pruning…

God Invited me to Drop My Big Pack

Yep, you read that right. I got rid of my 55L backpack, and I’m going the rest of the journey with two smaller backpacks. You have no idea how much I wrestled with following through on this decision, especially since it meant dropping my tent too.

But, God wanted to teach me more about depending on Him for more of my everyday needs, and I couldn’t say no. It also became an opportunity to let Him know He has my heart, not the 200 dollars it cost to buy that backpack or the extra things it could hold. I’m a little scared and also full of joy and expectancy for how God’s going to use this to grow me and draw me closer.

Now I’m Off To…

Jordan! I am excited to spend Christmas in the desert. In fact, we have plans to go to Wadi Rum over Christmas, and I can’t wait to ride a camel and take in the dunes and stars.

Before and after Christmas, we’ll be doing ATL again where we ask the Lord what He wants to do in Jordan. This month will be interesting because it’s illegal for a Muslim to change faiths and they could get arrested, beaten, or put to death for becoming a Christian. Please pray for wisdom and boldness for when and who to share the good news with, and for hearts to be tender and open.

It has been such an honor getting to do this journey with you as my supporter, friend, and prayer warrior. I hope this Christmas season is full of connection, visioning for 2022, and rest.

Love you, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!